This is an inspirational story of a young girl who against all odds overcame what many thought was a life she was confined to for eternity. She finished her o-level year many years back and like many other girls her age she was expected to go to college and pursue higher education. But she did not stay long before getting married and leaving the comfort of her parent’s home. No one was happy with this decision. They questioned... how can she just leave her parents home? Others considered her a disappointment. As she walked out of home into the new life, the first night out of home felt scary and very lonely. The young girl’s heart screaming out loud, she just wanted to go back home and her choice did not feel comfortable at all. Her only crime she had her menstruation and no one prepared her for it.
The roller coaster life then started, she was just a housewife and had to do the washing, cooking and then a baby was born. One child then another followed soon after and another child and the sequence too fast for her to stop and think of her own life. Entangled in what she thought was culture and tradition and did not even go out to look for any vacancies. Married women were to stay in their marital homes. The days turned into months and the months into years and without a glimpse of what life was outside she had stayed indoors as a housewife for over a decade and almost a half.
Exactly 14 years later, the young lady already a mother of 5 kids three girls and two boys. Her husband was the sole breadwinner and with no formal employment it was hard to keep going. When there is no work as a casual labourer the going was tough and feeding 5 extra mouths became almost impossible. She will reach out to the sister or some relatives to help her get a meal for the day or two. She even tried her hand in selling milk in the market but the profit was too little to sustain her growing family.
One morning a friend alerted her about the vacancy at a local organisation of a volunteer position and she quickly followed up and went to the office the next day. The friend teased her about being employed like her. Early the next morning the young lady was in HODI offices enquiring about the advert, by then the offices were close by to where she lived so she just stepped out quickly to get the contacts and got back home. It was just a few weeks before she was called for the interview and this being her first she felt scared and so unprepared. She had not also collected her result slip from high school, 14 years later because of fee balance. Like any good wife she shared about the opportunity with her husband and she least expected any other response than full support. But this was not the case as culture dictated she be a stay-home mother and the husband to vend for the family. She had to speak up for herself and all the noise and discouragement fell on deaf years. It was time to follow her dreams and live up to her passion.
14 days after the interview she got a phone call that changed her life forever! It was from me as the ED and Founder of HODI. She was successful and yes she got the job.....in her own words....I screamed my heart out and jumped up and down like a small baby’. This one call made her happier than ever before and she was enthusiastic that this is her one shot at life and soon things will look different. Unable to control her happiness she shared the news with the husband and everyone close to her and nobody could talk her out of taking up her dream position. Her ultimate goal was just to be a great example to her children and that you can turn your life around.
As she reported to the office, this was the year 2010 she felt like a desert flower and everybody was looking at her. She had not attained any formal training besides high school and what life has taught her being a housewife for 14 years. Her 1st task was to get her high school certificate which until this day had no purpose for the young mother. Each day she worked extra hard and with no help at home, she took up night shift at home doing the household chores and getting up early to get to work before everyone else. Turning a new page in her life was so exciting that she had no time to be tired or exhausted. Instead she was super excited and took each day with a bold smile and stride. A few months into the job there was a chance for an office administrator and I insisted she had what it takes to be one. Again she applied after the lady who was holding the position left joining another institution. While her initial position involved cleaning the office the current one needed some computer skills. You could see the hopefulness in her eyes and she believed in herself even if she had no skills but had the passion and the love for the organisation that opened doors for her.
Many talk of mentoring, which is almost a distant guidance but what we had with this young mother was beyond mentorship and amazing in every step of the way. I literally held her hand and walked with her every step of the way. Instead of screaming at her even when the work was not done as expected, I kept my cool and showed her how to do one step at a time. The only pressure was for her to get the best out of herself nothing more and nothing less. As she followed the the lead, she pushed herself to go for further studies and build her capacity and gain more skills. The initial one was to undertake computer packages and lucky for the young mother just next door there was a commercial college and she enrolled as HODI took to pay her fees. This was a huge relief for the young mother whose meagre earnings were not enough for her growing family. Time has lapsed now and the year was 2011 as the young mother gained her 1st official qualification besides her KSCE certificate. A day to rejoice and she was extremely happy and deep down was thankful to God and her push factor.
This was just the beginning of another chapter in the life of this young mother and a springboard to the next big thing in her life. I was not letting her rest and stop chasing her dreams so she was again enrolled for a diploma in Human Resource Management in the year 2012-2013. I personally called the college and ensured she filled in all the papers. The study hours were crazy and demands for assignments to be completed on time was immense, it was not easy and she struggled to finish. Many at times would lag behind of her class schedules. Being distance learning it gave her a chance to continue working at HODI and do her night shift while being a mother to her 5 children. But the fact that I ensured her fees were paid in full made her to put in extra hours, pushing herself beyond her limits until she excelled. The young mother graduated with very good results and was ready to for her next position. I asked her to enrol for a Bachelor's Degree immediately but she asked for time to support her children through high school. I just had to understand and support her with this decision.
It all looked like a dream but she was promoted to position of a field officer. The HODI’s culture of ensuring the volunteer is given 1st priority worked to her favour. Many including the donor questioned her ability to deliver the program but my belief in her made her to walk the tough path to not only deliver her very best but excel at her work. One day at a time and every opportunity she got she jumped at it and went for one training to the next and building her capacity each step of the way. She struggled with travels out of town because of the children and as she climbed up the ranks her pay increased too. She hired an elderly mother to stay with her kids as she travelled to do her exams or attended training's now the stress was less and the burden was off her back. Again impossible had been thrown out of the windows.
With each training and interaction she gained confidence and the exposure helped her a lot. She was no longer the shy young girl but a confident young leader ready to take on the world. She started taking on extra opportunities within the organisation and even become a peer counsellor and a trainer of trainers in the Breaking the Silence Program. I still remember the day she took her 1st flight and the smile on her face and tears rolling down her face. She knew her struggles as a young girl and the things she had hoped someone had spoken to her about before she ended up in the life she lived before joining HODI. Coming from humble backgrounds she could not afford pads and all the luxuries that many of her peers had then. She was made to believe she was mature having had her menstruation but even then the time was not right for her to join the institution of marriage. Now she was a mother herself and she put her whole heart in designing of the program to help young girls understand the challenges of menstruation. Breaking the Silence on issues which are a taboo to talk about culturally from menstruation to personal hygiene, Child Marriage, FGM and learning to say NO. Every day she took a bold step and one day she challenged herself to take up football. When the I asked her to play football....she looked at me questioning “How can I kick the ball? I am too old for that!......she said. Later that day I sat down with her telling her impossible was just in her head. The next day she took up the challenged and kicked the ball for the 1st time in her life. Today she is a celebrated goalkeeper in HODI, a mother of 6 and has encouraged her daughters to join the HODI football program. Over the last 4 years her 2 daughters have finished high school and this would not have been possible without her hard work. She did not have a degree that was demanded of her position but she served HODI as a program officer in education program. When the program ended she came back to support Breaking the Silence Program and was recently in Nairobi for a training on engaging young people on policy advocacy. On this special day we celebrate a special person! Congratulations Halima Abdi for helping #HODI reach over 1,645 girls in Breaking the Silence on Menstruation. #MenstrualHygieneDay #NoMoreLimits to a girls DREAM.
